It really looks like I want those who don't want me and I don't want those who want me. Life really is shit, isn't it?
You know, I think I made Thomas look like a better person than he was, just in my mind.
I wish this year hadn't happened. I wish I had never met and fallen in love with him.
Sometimes I wish I had no heart. He wasn't there today. I waited the whole evening and he didn't come.
Sometimes I think that god doesn't think I deserve to be happy. God takes everything from me and expects me to laugh and be happy all through these times. I wish my daddy back. I wish I could talk to him now, tell him what is taking me down these days and cry on his shoulder.
I just wish I could do this one more time..Why did god have to take exactly my dad? Why not a child-molestor or an alcoholic? Why my wonderful, nice and lovable daddy?
I don't think I believe into god anymore. I just can't.
My life is going down. All the way down, till it comes to a sudden end.
And then there's just darkness.
Su, deary... That sounds terrible :(
ReplyDeleteYou're right on one bit. You're so infatuated with him that you only see the good parts of him and you could be afraid to admit any faults in him. Please don't worry, I went through this. Guess what. I got over her ^^ All you need to do is TRY not to like him, and in a while, you'll no longer like him. If that's what you want.
It's so upsetting what happened to your dad... I really wish you could still have him. However, it's the way of life. God doesn't stop people from dying. I just wish your dad didn't die...
And I wish Michael Jackson was still alive too. I love his songs...
No matter what, I'm still going to love you as one of my best friends. You'll find happiness one day, I promise. I'm proud of how you're handling everything, you're amazing :)
ReplyDeleteLove Kenny x
Thank you Kenny, you're really the nicest person I know. Sometimes I think that would've happened if I hadn't met you.
ReplyDeleteYou know that it's almost a year, yes?
Sometimes I wish I could switch places with some of my friends, so that I'd be prettier, more intelligent, better in sports, happier..
This strange sport-competetion at our school is pulling me down so much. I wish it was over. I really wish I couldn't move my feet, so I didn't have to do all the things we have to do. I swear I'll end up as the last, and EVERYONE will see it. God, it is complicated. Why does this have to be?
I really love you, Kenny.
XOXO Su.
I think you need to decide whether you want to be in a relationship with him. Think hard about it.
ReplyDeleteIf you do, then I think you should be bold about it and not just let time do its work.
If not, it's never too late.
God, I think he will never be normal. You know, I type my ass off and sent him so many messages, and he says that he isn't the type who writes many messages. I thought something inbetween 'My ass is not the fucking type to write much, maybe because it has no damned fingers .' and 'Go fuck yourself, you insensitive asshole.'
ReplyDeleteI don't get you guys. I really don't.
Woah there Leon, don't embarrass us like that xD
ReplyDeleteBut really, Su, that was the kindest thing anyone's written for me in so long... You know how much I love you... don't you? ^^
I remember when we first met, it was last Summer, almost a whole year ago... Such good times we've had together :)
I have sports day soon too... I'm gonna hate it. You know the reasons why >< But anyway, when's yours? I really hope you do okay... good luck ok?
*Hugs* Love you ^^
Oh hold on you posted something new! Su... I really don't think Thomas is good enough for you... He seems kinda mean, to be honest. I know you like him but are you sure that's not just because you think he's hot. Try a different approach: Imagine him looking just average and see what you think of him. Because you definitely deserve better. Ok? ^^
But, I think I can't judge a book by its cover. I haven't had a chance to get to know him yet, so I might be wrong about his character. You know, I would be annoyed about the text-message-spammage, too.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you had never talked to me, never MSNed with me, what would you think if some random girl wrote you pretty strange stuff? (Yeah, I consider myself as dumb and strange whenever I look at old stuff I wrote. Like, 5 months ago. DUMB.)
The sports day was yesterday, you guys don't know HOW happy I am that it's over. Damnit.
2008 was one of the best summer, except for the two August weeks in 2007. :D
If a random girl started texting me I'd be so happy... Unbelievably happy xD
ReplyDeleteEspecially if she was anything like you!